If we can just let go and trust that things will work out they way they're supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself. ~ Goldie Hawn
Enjoy the journey. Actually, the journey is all we really have. The destination is death, at least for this lifetime. So, why would I want to unnecessarily hasten the ending? This can be a useful metaphor for most things in life, too, if it is not overdone or overblown. Somethings need a slow and easy enjoyment to get the fullness of the experience. Other things do need sped up to catch the important part(s) in time. The skill is in knowing the correct timing for whatever is in front of me. For example, I want to take a nice slow pace in kneading the dough for my bread, but I want just the right time to get that same bread out of the over before it burns. I think I will not talk about the trials and errors along the way to learning the right timing for both parts except to say that I am still learning despite being somewhat accomplished at bread-making by now.
Well, I know this timing and the relaxing into enjoying the journey moment by moment is vital for me to enjoy pleasure of any kind, but especially any part of a sexual encounter. If I cannot relax, I cannot enjoy much. In fact, the feeling of pressure from any source whether it be from within me, from my partner, or from outside circumstances will disconnect my ability to relax and to trust enough to enjoy much. This does not mean that the pace cannot be quickened at some point some times. But, trust cannot be sacrificed ever, or my whole being will shut down and shut out the partner and the experience. At that point, it might be better to try moves with a crash test dummy than with me. In fact, pressuring after I shut down could lead to a lot of painful consequences all around.
However, when the pace is right and the trust is there, magic is almost guaranteed. So, it is worth the effort and all the practice lessons along the way.
